Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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