Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
