we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
