marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ladies don't puke and tell
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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