We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
