I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
