You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
