I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
