What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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