Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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