When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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