You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize