people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
