I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
