ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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