were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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