Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
