The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
