I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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