i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
