What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
