i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
