And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
