My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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