what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
