I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
