that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
