so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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