She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
