I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
