all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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