you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
