So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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