New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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