We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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