I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
