There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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