Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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