you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He has the fingertips of a God
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
