No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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