4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
