So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize