they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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