before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
