Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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