I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
