imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
