whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
