dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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