i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
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I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
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