I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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