She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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