her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just pee around me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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