I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
