I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
