I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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