i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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