My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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