would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
