hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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