my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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