i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
