you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
