i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
