You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
